I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
