Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
