Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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