I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
