I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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