Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
There's even glitter on my cock...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
