bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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