lets start a swedish sibling band together
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
