i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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