the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
