spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
