you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
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Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
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By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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