I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
