i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
