Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
