Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
