I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
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you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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