Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
