At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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