marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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