Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
soo... how was my night?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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