I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize