i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When are your genitals available?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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