PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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