Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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