my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i dont even know how to be here
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize