I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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