Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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