i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
