And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
