I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize