Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
