I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
