The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
