Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
