is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
