So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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