Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
