so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
