on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
