there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear