he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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