I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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