you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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