wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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