I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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