I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
