I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
