Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
