out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
