Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
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THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
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I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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