I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
sex in a hospital.. check
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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