i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
