do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
