He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
