Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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