If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
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