I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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