it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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