Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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